Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Take my advice...Or not!

I'm pretty good at giving advice. Just ask me.

For example, if you were to ask me about clean underwear and accidents I would go into lengthy detail about how I know first hand how necessary it is not to leave your house everyday in dirty drawers.

I also don't advocate running with scissors.

Of course, I have been known to take advice as well. I'm not that self-sufficient. I also don't claim to know everything. My mom always said this about me. "I may be frequently wrong, but I am never in doubt."

There is a bit of advice I thought would never mean much at all.

You know the one about putting things in your ears smaller than  your elbow?

I admit it. I am a chronic ear cleaner. I am obsessed with a Q-Tip.

But, I'm also cheap. My last crop of Q-Tips came from a nameless dollar store (not called Q-tips, but cotton swabs). There has been a few times while cleaning out my ears I thought to myself, "These are lousy. I sure hope one doesn't come off in my ear one of these days."

Famous last words.

It would happen to me.

This past week, while completing my ear shining ritual, I lost a bit of that cotton swab in my ear. Only I thought I got it all out.

But then I changed my mind. My ear felt funny. It hurt. I had The Muffin look. He didn't see anything. I tugged and rubbed and pulled. No evidence of cotton.

Saturday night I had my Mom look. She brought out her medical kit and a flash light.

Sure 'nuff. I had a whole cotton swab tip way down in my ear.

I think the thing was down there at least 5 days.

I teased her about thinking her days of pulling things out of her children's ears were over. Never would have guessed she would have to worry about digging a cotton swab out of her forty-something daughter's ear.

This morning I went straight out. And brought a proper box of Q-Tips. My husband looked at me like I was crazy. I stared back at him with an expression that only had to confirm his suspicions.

I'm considering some other advice I've been given and frequently ignore. Has anybody actually tried licking a frozen pole? I have my doubts.


  1. oh my, this made me laugh! But only because I was pretty sure there would be a happy ending. Please, do not try licking the frozen metal pole. It cannot end well. I have not done it myself, but that's only because I saw other kids do it and that was enough to convince me!

    1. I am no worse for the wear because of it. My new Q-tips haven't caused me any issues (so far). Thankfully, I don't have a metal pole handy to try that on...


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