Thursday, February 13, 2014

A Love Story

Maybe you’ve heard my love story before. It’s nothing spectacular. Girl meets Boy dressed as a cowboy. Girl decides she likes boys who dress up for a living. Boy and Girl date for about 2 minutes and get married 10 minutes later. 

So maybe I’ve exaggerated just a bit. 

I saw The Studly Muffin for the first time dressed as up as a cowboy. This much is true. He was walking down the foyer of our church. He was there that Sunday trying out as the Children’s Pastor. During our subsequent courtship and marriage (he obviously got the job), The Muffin has been a knight, a singing song-book, an airline pilot, a pirate, a religious scribe and an earlobe (true story). And those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head.

The Muffin on our Wedding Day

That particular Sunday morning, I was supporting a purple dress and strawberry blond hair. The next time Troy laid eyes on me, I believe I was wearing red and had changed into a brunette.  I think we are well-suited. 

We barely knew each other by the time Troy asked me to marry him. I was very young (19) and he was had just turned 29. I’m not sure why he settled on me…after dating more mature and well-put together girls, but I’m glad he did. I have said this time and time again. I don’t recommend anyone marrying so young. The fact that it worked out for me had to be completely a God thing. Marriage is tough stuff. 

Me on our Wedding Day. I know. I had to be at least 13.

We attended his Ordination service on our honeymoon. He had already completed 4 years in the Air Force and 4 years in Bible College before I came along. He had been a licensed minister even before he left the Service. My life experience included a stint in Beauty School and a part time job at McDonalds. 

I am not going to bore you with the details of our short courtship. What has happened in the subsequent years is the true love story. 

I was blessed with some wisdom early on. Courtesy of Mom. I want to pass it along to you. You probably know this already. Never expect any one person to meet your needs. That is an impossibility. As a Christian, I believe that God is the only source of contentment. As humans, we disappoint one another every day.  My needs are met in God. And because of that, I have been able to be a more complete person for my husband. 

My husband has stuck with me during thick and thin. You might feel that it was his job to do so, but in our world of unmet expectations, it would have been just as easy for him to cut and run. 

He didn’t ask for a barren wife. He didn’t think on marrying a woman who would gain 100 pounds in a year. He didn’t reckon for his wife to experience heart failure. He didn’t figure on his wife becoming permanently altered in a car accident. 

My love story began when this man brushed my hair when I couldn’t do it myself. When he gazed into my puffy eyes and told me I was beautiful. When he held me sobbing in his arms after a miscarriage. When he stayed up all night just be sure I kept breathing.

Our picture with the Ordination group on our honeymoon. I was so proud of my dress with its puffy sleeves and big pink bow. Of course, nothing says romance like hanging out with a bunch of ministers. (can you sense the sarcasm?)

I can never “top” his tokens of love for me. What I can do is tell him that he is loved. I can cuddle on the couch with him when he’s watching the game (even though I could care less). I can make his favorite food. Listen to him when he is frustrated with his job. And give him space when he needs to think.

 I know that he is intense. Moody and passionate. I know that my lack of organization drives him batty and that he doesn’t understand my need for creative outlets. But I also know that I married a committed and loyal man. He is proud of my creativity and will defend my fruitiness to anyone. Most importantly, he loves God more than he loves me. And I know that because of that love he will be faithful to me til the end of time. 

This doesn't mean that The Muffin is perfect. I know he is not. He can't certainly expect perfection from me. I am flawed. I cry during confrontation. I am too opinionated. I let my projects get the best of me. But, I also know that I am forgiven. And that I, in turn, must forgive.
So girls. When you are searching for the love of your life. It matters not if they flatter you…those words of praise can easily turn into criticism. It matters not if they long for your every word and touch. That can easily change when the next object of his obsession comes along. 

Find a man who loves God more than he loves you. Who hangs on the Word of God more than he hangs on your sweet praise and flattery. Who doesn’t need you to feel complete. Those are the guys worth marrying in a minute (or 10).


  1. I can so relate to things you've mentioned. I became disabled 5 yrs into our marriage. The things we could never have anticipated, the joys, the struggles, the laughter, anger, tears, joy...Marriage is tough stuff. Absolutely.

    And I think your Mom was incredibly wise. I wish someone had imparted those words to me before I was married, or even in the first year.

    Found you via BYB

  2. There are so many reasons I loved this! For starters - your way of telling a story is just lovely; you paint such a clear picture and I can hear your heart through your words.

    I too am a baby bride - I was 18!!!! Definitely had no idea what I was getting into but thankfully we've stuck it out and are still going strong.

    I'm looking forward to digging around here a bit and reading more of your tales :)


  3. This is a lovely post and you were a lovely bride!

  4. Oh, Rebekah. Thank you for writing this lovely post. You were a beautiful bride and are a beautiful woman. You have a fabulous husband, and he's pretty awesomely blessed, too. #BB100


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