Taming the Lecture Bug (A Homeschool Crew Review Post)

 I hate to nag. I really do. Nagging in general makes me twitchy. There is an ideal universe in which everybody has an appreciation for healthy civil debate. That when you speak, your ideas and thoughts are heard. And that when you ask your children to complete reasonable tasks they are performed promptly and not up for debate. 
Anybody else with me? My son, bless his heart, has conveniently developed selective hearing AND seems to think that the longer he takes to complete a task, there is a greater likelihood that I will forget I even asked him to do anything! Shew. That was quite the run-on sentence. You can tell I'm "miffed." Which is why, when the Crew had the chance to review products from Parenting Made Practical, I knew the one I needed ASAP. I received Taming the Lecture Bug and Getting Your Kids to Think (book) and Taming the Lecture Bug and Getting Your Kids to Think (DVD). 

The teaching is intended for parents with kids in the 8 and older range. I will talk a little about what you can expect with each product separately and tell you my thoughts on both. 
Taming the Lecture Bug and Getting Your Kids to Think (book) is an easy read. It contains approximately 12 chapters and is filled with encouragement and practical advice. 
The authors, Joey and Carla Link, have been ministering to families for over 20 years. Joey has youth and family ministry experience and Carla has a degree in social work. Joey is currently the Director of Family Life Resources. The Links are involved with Growing Families Int'l and have written several books. They are also parents and grandparents. 

The very first chapter of Taming the Lecture Bug opens with a story from personal experience of raising 3 kids. It also reveals the problem with "lecturing" as opposed to teaching kids personal responsibility. 
I like this quote from the book.
Your kids want you to do your thinking for them, so they can choose to agree with you and do what you say, or argue with you if they won't want to do it. 

I realized to that I have taken away some of Josiah's personal responsibility when I am not following through on my expectations for him. For example, he has certain chores he has to complete every single day. Lately, it seems like I am constantly reminding him about those responsibilities. Josiah has begun to "chose" when he does them or if he even does them at all...according to his own plans for the day.  

The book teaches parents to begin to ask simple questions, instead of giving our children a 30 minute rant. This helps our kids understand the importance of having a teachable and obedient heart. 

I really appreciate how much the Links place on "personal responsibility" in the book. It seems that this is something our society is missing.  Putting it in the context of "sin" and what Scripture says about such matters made me think a lot about how I have been responding to such behaviors. 

There is a really great example of a child who was essentially "training" his mother to take responsibility of his actions and behaviors. How often do we do that as parents? Do we constantly repeat our expectations and try to "fix" things when those expectations aren't met? Or do we allow our kids to suffer the natural consequences of being irresponsible. 

For example, I had to learn this the hard way when Josiah was on the swim team. It was a struggle to get him to check his swim bag before we left the house. Did he have his goggles? What about his suit? There were a few times that we drove all the way across town only to find out he had left his goggles on the floor to his bedroom. 

It came to the point where either he had to miss swim team practice entirely or swim without his goggles. He eventually learned. But this was hard for me! I didn't want to him to struggle or miss practice! 

Taming the Lecture Bug reconfirmed  and reminded  me of some of those hard lessons I had to learn as a parent.  And I still need to be working on. Coming to Josiah's rescue when he forgets his homework for his Graphic Arts class he is taking at the homeschool c0-op isn't doing him any favors. 

I also appreciated the information about temperaments. I read one of the recommended resources years ago when Troy and I first got married. It was so helpful! I think understanding that information made things so much easier. 

I took the book with me to the doctor's office one day. I could see other parents eyeing me with envy. I know they just wish they could get their hands on my book! Oh the secrets it would reveal for the challenging job of parenting! 

It's good stuff, my friends. 

The DVD is approximately 30 minutes. The authors share some of the main points of the book. In fact, this is going to be something Josiah and I watch together.  The expressions of some of the parents in the audience were priceless. You could see that some of the information was really hitting home! There is also a downloadable PDF containing study notes available. I am going to use it at church as part of a class. 

Both the book and DVD are excellent resources!  

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