Digging

Thankfully, we have had more than 2 days in a row of fine weather. That means my dad has been hard at work in his garden and with him, my favorite five –year- old. Josiah started digging a little hole right next to the patio. He patiently shoveled cup after cup of dirt...using whatever tool he could get his hands on. Yesterday, he took a little plastic cup, turned on the outside water spigot and proceeded to fill that little hole up...he was making a pond. He must have made 20 trips back and forth...back and forth...back and forth. Of course, the little pond turned muddy and only a little hole was left this morning. Today, my dad fenced off a little garden just for Josiah. Josiah and I found some "real" garden tools for kids at Wal-mart and Josiah went to work. Nothing has been planted yet, but Josiah is carefully tilling is garden. He isn't sure what he wants to grow yet...but my dad and Troy are teasing him that he wouldn't eat anything that he would grow (he is going through that "I only like hot dogs and pancakes" stage...which is so infuriating, but perhaps a better topic for another blog).
I will try not to get too "drippy" or wax philosophical, but I think about how I am "tilling" the garden of my life. How I have "prepared my soil" and if I am planting good things. Unfortunately, I have been guilty of planting bitterness and worry in my garden and have watered it with tears of disappointment. I might not have been able to control any weeds that might have come to choke out any of the good things that grow there, but I certainly could have done better with turning those weeds into bright sunny flowers. I have had enough near death experiences to understand "living life to the fullest"...but I can tell you how quickly those promises you make to yourself and to your loved ones get pushed aside for the cares of life. In short, your garden gets filled with squash when you wanted strawberries. So today, as I watched my little boy till his garden I remade promises to myself...I want to do things that make me happy and fulfilled...most importantly, I want to do the things that God wants me to do because I know that in His will comes my deepest satisfaction. I want to spend time with the people I love and the people who love me. I want to enjoy every little moment and not make the more stressful moments more than they should be. I want to grow good things in my garden and in doing so, take better care of myself.
Troy has admitted to me that for sometime he has lain awake with me next to him...just listening to me breath...in and out...just to be sure I am breathing. I don't want any of these precious breaths to go unwasted...I have some digging in the dirt to do! (well, not really...but you get the picture!)