Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Confession


It is time to come clean. Have you ever had something you just needed to get off your chest? Well. They say confession is good for the soul so here it goes.

This week I have eaten things that have not been good for my body. Even though I am diabetic and I know said things will hurt me:
1 chocolate bar (I picked one up to put in a goody bag for my friend who is going through chemo...sorry, Lavonna...I'll get you another one)
2 Krispy Kreme donuts (what happens in Wednesday night Bible study should sometimes stay in Bible study)
A 10 piece chicken nuggets (I don't even have a good excuse for that one)

I colored my hair when I should have patiently been saving up money for my hair lady to do it...resulting in a a few tears (me) and my son telling me I could possibly scare little girls (he even used the word "creepy"). I know. It's just hair.

I cried at my husband (The Studly Muffin) and told him that I didn't think he paid attention to me knowing full well he loves me more than about anything. In spite of my harsh words spoken in self-pity he cleaned the bathroom and put away the laundry. I'm blessed he is my Studly Muffin.

I was impatient with Josiah during reading. It's not his fault that sometimes the letters look all squiggly and the words float across the page.

I put a small purchase on our credit card knowing full well it is only meant for emergencies. (yikes)

I could go on. But I won't. Obviously "my sins" won't put me in jail or jeopardize my relationships. But I won't necessarily make light of the fact that I need some perspective this week and possibly a "time out." But "us women" are good at the self-pity and wallowing in our insecurities and failings.

I'm not a good mom! I fail as a wife! I'm a pitiful housekeeper! I feel frumpy! I am frumpy! I look like my Great Aunt Jerry (and she wasn't even related by blood)....I'm a bad friend!

You see where it all can lead.

There is a scripture in the Bible that talks about God's mercies...and that they are new every morning. The Message version says it like this.

Lamentations 3:22-23

God's loyal love couldn't have run out,

his merciful love couldn't have dried up.

They're created new every morning.

How great your faithfulness!

I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).

He's all I've got left.

It's great to know that no matter what today held. Or yesterday held. Tomorrow is a brand new day. God's merciful love doesn't have an expiration date. I will never be able to use it all up. And I know that God loves me and sees me for much more than the Older Than I Used To Be Frumpy Fat Housewife Who Hasn't Been Nice To Her Family And Probably Could Use A Chill Pill Woman.

Sigh. It's nice to know.


Rebekah













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