Born of My Heart (Part 6)

I've been fairly emotional this week. Call is what you will. Some might call it menopause.

It is tough revisiting certain feelings. Though this particular story has a happy ending it was a tough ride.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about I have been sharing our adoption story. You can read Parts 1, 2, 3, 4 & 5 if you have a minute (or 90).

Today I did a little bit of preparation work for Josiah's 13th birthday. His birthday is usually very low key. It is on Thanksgiving this year. It's generally somewhere around there every year. We always celebrate with whatever side of the family we are spending the holiday with. He probably thinks Thanksgiving was created especially for him.

This year I am making a large collage of pictures of him. When we picked up the pictures I had printed off, Josiah spent several minutes pouring over each one. Such beautiful memories.

No matter what your situation might be I implore you not to waste the days. They fly. Even if you are still waiting on your miracle...don't let this season of waiting pass you by. Make something beautiful out of right now.

When I last left my story, The Muffin and I were heading out to await the birth of our son.

It was all rather unconventional. Birth Dad lived in one state. Birth Mom lived in another state. We lived in a completely different state. Because we weren't quite sure when everyone was going to sign the custody papers we had to sit tight.

When Josiah was born (November 27, 2001) we weren't at the hospital. That time was spent with his birth family. 2 days later we got to meet him at a foster care center. His foster care parents were an older couple who had been fostering for years. Josiah was their 99th child.

I can tell you this. When I first held Josiah in my arms it was like I knew him. I recognized that face. Troy and I just sat and took turns holding him. He was sleeping most of the time, but right before we had to go Josiah opened his eyes and looked at me. They, of course, were chocolate brown.

Josiah was about a month old here. 

When we left the Foster Care center Troy and I both cried.

I mentioned that the whole set up was a bit complicated. Before Birth Dad signed the papers he wanted to meet us. Did I mention that Birth Dad was only 18? He also had been born in India. He and his family had immigrated to the US when he was 8. He and his brother drove down to meet us. He also wanted to see Josiah. We met with the foster parents and Josiah. I could tell he was overwhelmed. Afterwards we took the boys to eat Chinese. We visited, laughed and talked. He was charming. He also told us that he knew that he was too young to raise a baby.

After word reached Birth Mom that Birth Dad had met us she decided she wanted to meet us to. We met her at the Foster Care Center with her grandparents. She was a beautiful blonde blue-eyed doll. She was only 15. She held Josiah gently and then handed him to me. She told me that she wanted to give this gift to me.

I cried.

We went with her and her grandparents to Golden Corral after spending time with Josiah. It was surreal.

I have to say that we have had the best relationship with her grandparents all these years. They are so careful not to intrude. They have even been in our home. I send Birth Mom a packet of pictures and a letter every year around Josiah's birthday. This past year she sent me pictures of Josiah's half-sister.

I know that every situation is different. I have always felt like there never could be too many people that love Josiah in his life. It hasn't been an issue. Josiah has a very close bond with both sets of his grandparents. He adores all of his aunts, uncles and cousins. I don't think this boy has ever felt lonely or different.

Josiah's birthday mom was absolutely lovely (still is). I thank God for her every day. I recognize what a sacrifice she made. I don't feel like I am the one that did the good deed. I reaped all of the benefits.

2 weeks after Josiah was born we got the call that all the parties involved had signed the paperwork. We showed up the next morning at the courthouse where we were granted parental custody. 12 days after that we got the okay to go home to our state of residence.

We brought Josiah home just before Christmas.

This Daddy loves this Boy. 

Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends all swarmed to our house to meet our new addition. I was just glad my mom and sister-in-law made sure my house was clean!

I can't say that the next few months were easy.  I worried that Birth Mom would have a change of heart. All of the sudden I had a new baby! Don't get me wrong. I loved it. I will tell you that the first week we had custody of Josiah I felt like I was babysitting.



I was given the advice to hold him as much as I could. I did exactly that. I could hardly take my eyes off of him. I felt like I was dreaming.

Around 6 months after he was born the adoption was final. It is quite an experience. It was one of the best experiences of my life. I would have done it again the next day. And the day after that.

Just the sweetest. I fully planning on photoshopping a skinnier me into this picture. I have lost a lot of weight, but still have more to go! But I shared anyway. The best day ever!

Unfortunately, the opportunity has never presented itself again.

Tomorrow I want to finish up with just a few thoughts. It's hard to tell you everything I know. Though I can try.

Right now I am going to go plant a big kiss on this face.