Good morning, my friends.
Today I am bringing back another blog post I have written. This one is from 2012. It showed up in my Facebook feed this morning and out of curiosity I clicked on the link. I have been struggling, myself, recently with some issues (health related) that have crept back into my life. I have to say that while I am being proactive and trying not to complain too much, I have had some questions.
Why now? When we've had such a change in our lives.
What do I do? I need wisdom.
How can I keep my problems from consuming me? I want to focus on the Problem Solver...not my problems.
I hope you enjoy it.
I am really nearsighted. So much so that without my contacts in I am incapacitated. I can see shapes and colors, but that's about it. I started wearing glasses when I was in 2nd grade and got contacts when I was 15. Changed my life.
Thankfully, my contact prescription has not changed much over the past 2 or 3 years. I am at a -11.50 in both eyes and they don't completely correct my vision.
Anyhoo. I had an appointment with my Eye Doctor today (whom I absolutely love). She is one of those energetic gals who loves what she does and has this contagious fascination with all things Optical. I am always a little more than impressed with women in science so I always enjoy visiting with her. Plus, she is so excited to see me come." Ah! The Crazy Nearsighted One Who I Have To Warn About My Rollie Chair Everytime She Comes!" Let me just put it out there. Backless Rollie Chairs are a sin. Especially for blind girls with gimpy hips. I can't tell you how many times I have about rolled myself out of that particular chair.
Enough of my Backless Rollie Chair Rant. As with every visit, the lab tech took me off to a little room to have me remove my contacts. And since I haven't had a pair of glasses I could actually see out of since the early 90's I groped my way out of the little room and sat myself down in the waiting room. Next to some guy in a red shirt. Sorry guy. I didn't get a really good look at you. Though I am sure you were kind of weirded out by the bizarre wide-eyed looks I was sending your way. Those of you who suffer from any kind of myopia will understand. "Maybe if I try and focus hard enough that thing I am looking at will suddenly appear." I'm sure I looked like a nut. But I'm used to it.
After a few minutes of that, I was escorted to "test room." You know. The one where they perform all the little tests. I usually get pretty stoked with any test. I am a bit of an overachiever. Even these vision tests. I don't care if I'm practically blind! I'm going to be the best practically blind test taker you've ever had! And what is up with the glaucoma test! I have taken that test every year of my life for the past 33 years of my life. I still practically jump out of my Rollie Chair everytime that little puff of air shoots in my eye. It's a tricky one.
So I took my tests and settled back into the waiting room (I just followed a white lab coat into what I assume was the waiting room). The red shirt guy was gone. So other than various white lab coats floating around the room there was nothing I could really "look" at. I tried my Kindle. I held it up to my nose and changed the font to the largest font. Well that helped (insert sarcastic sigh). It made the font so big that only 4 or 5 words showed up on the page...and I couldn't even see those. So I passed the time checking for split ends (did you know that extremely near-sighted people can see incredible details up really close?) and marveling at the condition of my cuticles. They are really bad. I think I need an emergency manicure intervention.
Well. It came to attention a bit later that I had failed one of my "vision tests." The peripheral vision one. Don't despair. My doctor let me take it later with my contacts in and I passed with flying colors. What I didn't do so well on was the whole eye chart business. But I never do. I have resigned myself to the fact that I will never be able to see past the 4th line. While I was struggling with the 5th line, I had an inspiration! I have seen this particular chart so many times throughout the years. Why do I still struggle with that 5th line? Why do I keep guessing? I'm tempted to google "eye exam" chart so I can finally see what is below the 4th line once and for all.
I did a little contemplating while I was sitting in the waiting room investigating the appalling condition of my cuticles. I think sometimes we can have a hard time "seeing" things for what they truly are. Instead of taking in the whole picture we focus on that tiny speck or that single dot. And everything around the tiny speck and single dot becomes blurry and unfocused. We miss so much around us. So much beauty and opportunity lost because we become focused only on what we think we are cable of seeing. Or what we want to see.
Here is something else to consider. We can't see the whole plan God has for us. We might consider a trial we are experiencing as something horrible and unnecessary. We can't see that it is building our faith, shining God's light and ministering to some one else. Remember...You might not be able to see the beginning from the end...but God does.
Oh well. That was my bit of reflection for the day. It was short lived. I am wearing a brand spankin' new pair of contacts (I wear the breathable kind that you have to change regularly...sounds like a Depends). I have more coming in the mail and I am fairly certain I know where I have stashed my cuticle oil. One never knows what kind of "enlightenment" one will find at the Eye Doctor.