I'm up late tonight. Possibly just taking advantage of my newly unemployed "can stay up a little later" state. I'm overwhelmed with the amount of "stuff" I have neglected in my attempt over the past several months to be "all things to all people." It can be exhausting being a people pleaser. My most recent project today was cleaning and organizing my son's room. I found things in his closet that do not resemble anything I've seen in my lifetime. Bless his heart.
There is much that I have neglected in my attempt at what I like to call "life as a normal person." There are issues in my life that have prevented me from functioning at full capacity for quite some time. Every so often I throw a tantrum and take matters into my own hands. This last attempt involved working within the field of my education. Too bad all those years of college didn't do more to improve my immune system. Not a good career path for someone with major chronic health issues. Oh well. At least my sweet son can benefit from my 125+ hours of education. I was on the computer early this morning...researching online degree programs and federal grants. Don't know what I want to be when I grow up, yet.
Anyhoo, despite all of that there is a strange sense of anticipation in the Teague home. Could it be that God is getting ready to send us off again into ministry? I sure hope so. I do admit that we have learned some valuable lessons that could have only been learned on our self-imposed sabbatical. We know ourselves much better now. Some of it we like...some...well....the less said the better. What it has done has reaffirmed our passion for the ministry...at least what we consider our "philosophy" or "world view". It's all about the folks...right? And those relationships we have built and people we have been able to touch and those who have touched us. It's about doing "unto the least of these". We could care less that the people we care about the most won't find their way to any positions of power or halls of fame.
If I could turn back time and tell my younger self anything it would be to not sweat the small stuff...worry less about the programs and appearances. Don't worry about pleasing everyone. And treasure those relationships...build people up...keep the big picture in focus. Most importantly, just let God do what God needs to do. Don't get so defensive and relax...and as a good friend of mine always reminds me "it will all come out in the wash."