Such as this one...It might seem like a bunch of self-pitying rambling...I do that fairly well. But considering of what has transpired in my life lately, it was a good reminder for me personally. It is a good time to revisit some of those dreams...though you will be happy to know that we know own a car with properly working air conditioning.
It's the little things.
There was an offer that came to me for a free Kindle book the other day.
Give me the words "Free" and "Kindle" and I'm all over it. I actually get offers for free Kindle books every day, but this one was special. It was a book on "How To Hypnotize Yourself." Hmm. Sounds really useful. Actually it sounds strange. How did this person get published? And what do I have to do to get my own book entitled "You Skinny People Shut Up You Know Diddley" a little love?
Of course it would help if I had more than one chapter written of "You Skinny People Shut Up You Know Diddley" written.
It appears as if my writing aspirations are going about as well as my weight loss aspirations, my attempts at crochet and my dream of (just once) having a car in which the air conditioning actually works. Not to mention the heating. You can see where this is going.
Did you ever have something that you wanted so badly that you didn't know how badly you wanted it until you didn't have it? Did that make sense? I have quite a list of wants or dreams or goals. Some of them are pretty impossible. A few are kind of doable. But the few that are really important to me? I might as well want to go to the moon. (which I don't).
So here are a few things on my "Dream List." You might be surprised.
1. I want to finish my education. Believe it or not, I am a terrific student. And I really like it. I was on an academic scholarship for all but one semester of the 15 semesters or so I was in college. Don't be afraid. I'm really not a brainiac. I am just really good at pretending to be really smart. (you do realize I am prone to exaggerate...if I had 15 semesters of college (especially fulltime hours) under my belt I wouldn't be whining about finishing my education...just thought I would clarify that)
2. I want another kid. If not for my faulty ovaries and a tricky heart I would have a whole parcel of kids. I don't want to think about this one too much. I am so blessed to have my boy. Infertility isn't something I like to focus on...It's broken my heart.
3. I want a Cricut. Is that too much to ask for? Just a Cricut. I feel the need for an electronic cutter in my life. So I'm shallow. And really practical. Do you know what I could do with a Cricut?
4. I want to travel somewhere other than Branson. Okay. So we live in the beautiful Ozarks. And traveling is expensive and really hard on me, but I get tired of just reading about places other people visit. But truthfully at this point even a vacation to Branson (which is only 30 miles away) sounds pretty good...sometimes you just need a little vaycay...where nobody knows your name.
5. I want to write and have it mean something. I am not looking to write the Great Novel. After all, "You Skinny People You Shut Up You Know Diddley" isn't necessarily "J.D Salinger or Harper Lee" kind of material. I just want to write something encouraging...something that makes someone smile.
6. Speaking of Skinny People. I want to be one of you. I used to be one of You. And I liked it. I don't like being fluffy. I want to be healthy and trim and confidant. This one is one of the harder ones. You wouldn't think it would be considering some of the things that has happened to me in my life. I had to learn to walk again. That was easy compared to this whole weightloss adventure/journey/wilderness.
I really struggled with even giving those "dreams" a voice. Well, maybe not the dream of owning a Cricut. That is just my pitiful attempt at reminding The Studly Muffin how much I would like one.
Anyhoo. If I talk about the things that I think are "lacking" am I acknowledging the discontent in my life and not the blessings? Or am I motivating myself to reach for a few of these dreams? I guess sometimes you just have to go for it. This doesn't mean necessarily that I should start making plans for my European Vacation. Or my book tour.
So think about some things your list. Are they doable? Are they things you need to make peace with not doing? This is something I need to think about for myself. Thankfully, I can rely on God to push me when I need pushing and giving me peace when my "glass" looks a little empty.