When I originally thought about my 5 Days of Homeschooling
topic (Homeschooling One Busy Boy) I wanted to talk about some of the
challenges and rewards that come along with Homeschooling an Only Child (who is
also really busy and a boy).
The possibilities are endless! And a bit overwhelming when
you think about.
There is really no way I (a girl who can turn even a simple
recipe into a novel) I can narrow down all of that into just a few days of blog
posts. one thing figured out….BAM! That thing goes crazy and everything falls
apart.
One thing I have figured out is that sometimes I need to just
let Josiah go. I need to let him be his own person.
We are all different (obviously). I’m a girl. I’m a girl who really doesn’t
understand why my son and my husband feel the need to wrestle in the middle of
the living room floor. They beat up on each other. Why?
I would rather sit quietly with my book, contemplating the
deeper things of life. Like what does “Boomshakalaka”
mean exactly and who will play the next Doctor Who (“they” seemed to have decided
already and apparently didn’t take my suggestion of Colin Firth seriously).
Josiah is dyslexic and Busy (my code word for ADHD). There are some challenges in raising a boy with learning disabilities.
Obviously. One piece of advice I have heard over and over again is to encourage
Josiah to find something he loves doing and encourage him in that.
It has been quite a process.
This is the conversation I initially had with myself in my
head.
How are we supposed to help Josiah find his passion...what he loves to do? We have limited resources financially. He always seems just a bit
awkward with sports. For one, he is not competitive and doesn’t understand the
whole scene. He loves music, but it’s not like he’s picked up a guitar and
started going out all Chet Akins on us. What
if he finds out he just really not good at much of anything?
It was very tempting at first to throw everything at Josiah.
My husband, who played Little League faithfully as a child, wanted to sign him
up for ball. But then I had a major health crisis and our lives wound up being
topsy turvy for quite some time. We looked around at what other kids were
doing.
We had homeschooling friends who had their kids in
orchestra, hip hop, karate, hockey…all at the same time. It sounded exhausting. We just wanted Josiah
to find something he loved to do.
I think my husband is genius. No really…He is also The Studly
Muffin. He started taking Josiah on “Guys Days” on his day off. They started by
going to hit golf balls at the driving range. Would you know that we discovered
we had a little golfer our hands? He started naming his stuffed animals after
famous golfers (first Build-a-Bear’s name was Retieff Goosen) and pets after
golf scores (we had a dauschand called Bogey). The pace of the sport of perfect for him. And he could spend time with Dad.
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| Josiah playing the course. His bag is almost as big as he is. |
He still loves golf, but isn’t the protégée I had imagined
that he would turn into. In typical kid fashion he has found other things that
have brought a smile to his face.
A few years ago, we put him in swim lessons. Naturally, we
wanted him to be able to swim. We didn’t start him out as early as we would
have liked (again, circumstances were not in our favor). I think it was after
that first week of swim lessons that he decided he never wanted to leave the
water again. Last year he got to join the swim team.
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| Josiah and the Free Style |
He has also decided that for right now that he doesn’t enjoy
competing. I think one of these days that might change, but for now I have to
be content with his decision. He is still gaining so much from just being on
the team. He is learning discipline and hard work. Have you ever seen those
little kids swim laps? Good Grief! It makes me tired just watching. He loves his team mates and loves learning new ways to
make his Butterfly Stroke better and his dive a little cleaner. My husband and
I have to be content with that.
So here is a little bit of advice for those of you who have
Busy Boys in your life (who want to help them find their passion).
Exposure. You can’t
know what they might love unless you expose them to a variety of different
things. I am not suggesting you start signing them up for every arts and crafts
class being held at the Art Museum. At least try one…What they wind up loving
might be a complete surprise. Maybe you have a wonderful Chef in the making and
you don’t even know it! Josiah loves to cook. He recently learned how to make
scrambled eggs on his own. He was very proud.
Keep in mind that if tomorrow Josiah shows an aptitude for
Ping Pong Playing that we (as a family) will not start directing our entire
lives and resources in that direction.
The boy is 11. He has a lot of time to decide if he wants to
be dedicated to Ping Pong playing (not that he’s shown even the slightest interest
in Ping Pong…it is just an example).
Training. Take
for example, Exhibit A.
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| Josiah and his first solo attempt at Scrambled Eggs. |
Josiah the Chef. I want Josiah to be able to take care of
his nutritional needs. The fact that he enjoys wielding a knife doesn’t hurt.
With anything. Playing a sport, exploring the culinary arts, painting a picture…ect. One must be willing to
put the work into it. I have had a bump or two in the world concerning this one.
We have a little guitar in the corner. Josiah got it for Christmas a few years ago. He picks it up occasionally and "rocks out." I have decided that this is the
year for Josiah and the guitar. It won’t play itself. I think I’ve realized that I have a little bit of
the former Music Teacher Angst. I have yet to decide what that is, but I think
I have a problem. I have been so worried that it is going to be extra hard for
him because of the dyslexia. I also recognize that not everything comes easy…Most things
take training and hard work. He has proven that he can work hard. If we find
out that it’s not his thing, I can let it go gracefully.
Think Out of the Box.
I think it is so important not to put your son in a box. He doesn’t have to do
everything everyone else does. And really. Aren’t us homeschoolers nonconformists
by nature? It’s okay to be different. Maybe his interests lie somewhere outside
the box.
Just Let it Go, Mama. It’s maybe not his thing. I am constantly telling myself this! I love
drama. I served as a stage manager and administrative assistant for a children’s
theatre for a couple of seasons. I loved it I saw kids blossom and grow. I was
sure that when Josiah got older he would be a perfect candidate. He is a
natural ham. He is a good actor. He just really hates being in front of a large
crowd (which is probably some of the issue with the swim meets). I’ve had to
let that one go.
I’ve also made
mistakes in the opposite direction. Last year he got to run a small marathon
with his Aunt Deb and Uncle Mike. He loved it. He asked me if he could start
running/walking some walk/runs on his own. I told him I would sign him up for
the Zombie Run (held locally). The deadline came and went. Why? Because I
thought it really didn’t sound like that much fun. Who walks or runs for fun? I
thought for sure he would change his mind. Guess what. He hasn’t. He is still
talking about how he missed it…and I have yet to sign him up for another race.
I think when it comes down to it that we all need things we
love to do. As parents of these special kids it is so important to help them
find their niche. We just need to be sure we aren’t helping them fall into
ours. Today at the Y I got a brochure for, you guessed it, the Zombie Run.
Guess who is going to be filling out the registration form
this weekend.
